Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20, 2009. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage.

We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

There’s something wrong with this picture … would anyone care to guess what it is?

If you’re reading this and you’ve experienced any of the things on the list below, your account may be in need of deletion:

1. You rarely log in to Myspace except to delete spam friend requests from nude webcam girls.

2. You spend five minutes writing a wall post only to hit an error message when you try to post it because of all the website glitches.

3. You’re a girl who constantly gets marriage proposals from random men in the middle east.

4. You visit someone’s Myspace profile only to suddenly have music start blasting out of your speakers. Bonus points if it happens to you while you’re at work.

5. You have to make redundant clicks to perform simple tasks because Myspace keeps taking you to advertisement pages where you have to click on “return to myspace profile” in order to continue what you’re doing.

6. You visit someone’s profile only to have your eyes bleed because of terrible page layout with non-matching designs and font colors.

7. Your experience is hindered because of intrusive banner ads that either talk to you or try to reach out and block your view of what you’re trying to look at.

8. You read yet another news account about how some child predator using Myspace has abducted a little girl or that some hoax Myspace account has caused a teenager to commit suicide.

9. You’re frustrated with the fact that Myspace doesn’t allow you to post your contact info, meaning to contact someone you can only use Myspace’s glitchy Instant Messenger, message/email system, or wall commenting.

10. You’re tired of seeing Tom stare out at you from millions of friends lists and just wish he would change his f*cking profile picture.

Have any of these things happened to you? Well you’re the perfect candidate for Myspace deletion. Join me on Wednesday, January 30th by deleting your Myspace account. You won’t regret it!

Especially this part:

Latest uber-disappointment
CA: Second Life
NY: The New York Mets

No. 1 reason to be cranky
CA: Real estate prices
NY: Real estate prices

Yes, I know, it’s a JOKE. But in every good joke, there’s a kernel of truth.

The next computer I buy is going to have OSX on it.

A California judge says an Oakland carpenter caught hammering nails and sawing wood in the nude can legally work without wearing any clothes.

Alameda County Superior Court Judge Julie Conger found Percy Honniball not guilty of indecent exposure Thursday. The 51-year-old was arrested last year after the he was spotted building cabinets in the buff at a home where he had been hired to work .

Conger ruled that although Honniball was indeed naked he was not acting lewdly or seeking sexual gratification.

The carpenter has said he likes to work in the nude because it’s more comfortable and helps him keep his clothes clean.

Oy.

Seriously, who thinks this stuff up?

And who buys it?

Seen in Flickr today. Apparently it’s a gag, not for real.

On the one hand, this type of commercial would be a natural extension to the existing “I’m a Mac / I’m a PC” campaign Apple has been running.

On the other hand, would doing so give the Zune too much legitimacy? Probably.

Her favorite is the search for “piece of shit“. If you’re geeky, it’s very funny reading. Lots of bashing on IE and much much more.