Dear World

We, the United States of America, your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4.

Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20, 2009. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage.

We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

3 thoughts on “Dear World”

  1. We also would like to invite our new and future users to continue working with our new service; we plan to continually (with your assistance) improve access, user interface and overall functionality.

  2. “your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy”

    sheesh! gimmee a break! that’s the sort of thinking that’s got the US into trouble over the last 50 years.

    in the words of Monty Python’s Holy Grail

    “Who made _you_ king? I didn’t vote for yer!”

    or to paraphrase Zaphod Beeblebrox psychologist:

    “America: he’s just this guy… y’know?”

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