I haven’t posted in a couple of days… the holiday, a general feeling of malaise, and bad news from a friend have all got me off my game. But mostly, it’s a feeling of impotence. I confess to the creeping feeling Kerry is not running a good campaign and that Bush is going to win in November. So why does it matter that I record what’s going on?
I’ve been thinking more and more lately that if you aspire to have a blog which does something beyond recording the antics of your kids or how you repainted your living room, you ultimately need the belief that what you say matters. And right now I don’t feel like anything I can say or do will actually have an impact on the world at large. The Bushies are going to do whatever the hell they want to do and I can’t stop them. I can’t persuade the Kerry campaign to get off its ass and start being more aggressive. The people who find their way to this blog are already likely Kerry voters. And I’m not timely, eloquent or well-connected enough to offer any unique insights into the world at large.
I’m not stopping blogging, but I think I’ll be dialing it down for a bit until I find a way to believe that what I say is actually going to make any kind of difference. Call it ego, but I don’t want to have just another mundane personal blog that nobody reads except my husband and my sister. I would like to think that I have something to say that at least a few people who don’t actually know me are going to enjoy hearing. But maybe I don’t.