Author: lux

Forgot to plug in the cappuchino maker & then spent 10 minutes wondering why my coffee wasn’t brewed yet. This is only the second time in 18 months that I’ve had 2 days off, in a row, at home. So no wonder I’m a bit discombobulated.

It’s looking like a nice day out there. It’s probably a nice day back East too – I tried to call Mom & got her answering machine. No idea what she & Dad are doing but I hope they’re having fun. I’ll try again closer to dinnertime.

I got a nice surprise on my last work paycheck – 9 days of vacation pay. I didn’t think I had quite that much vacation built up, but I did. With airfares so low, I am thinking hard about taking a week of R&R back East.

A nice Tuesday morning in May and it’s been alomst a week since I’ve blogged.

In my head there’s parts of a post about the godawful mess that is the reports of prison abuses in Iraq at the hand of Americans but I am too drained & disgusted to put the whole thing together into coherence.

Today I am off. Tomorrow & Friday are my last two days at Aerosoles. I’m going out on a high note. The store just finished a second month in a row where it posted double-digit increases in sales over last year. If I weren’t so tired & burned out, I’d be really happy about that. But mostly I’m numb.

Current plan is to take a little time – something between an week and a month – to chill out and get my head back together. I can’t stay off work forever, so I’ll need to get a job again by sometime in June. As yet undecided is whether I’m going to look for a placeholder job to tide me over until I go back to school, or a ‘real’ job. I have to say, the though of just pulling coffee at Starbucks for a while has some appeal. After all the stress I’ve been going through, not having much responsibility for a while is more alluring than it used to be.

Wish it were a more upbeat one.

I blew a 3rd interview today. After some 2 hours of talk, the interviewer gently told me I was not the right candidate for the position and was kind enough to tell me why. The fact that I was going up against 2 internal candidates for the job was one factor. The other (and more telling) one was that I was so obviously burned out and unhappy that he couldn’t be sure whether I really wanted to work for his company or if I just wanted to get away from where I was now.

And he was right.

Being tired and burned out is one thing. But if it’s impacting my ability to not only do my current job, but to get other jobs, I need to get out now.

I’m giving notice tomorrow.

Tonight, I’m going to have a big glass of wine and try to not feel sorry for myself.

Lately I’ve fallen into what I consider a bad habit. Each morning around 5:00 AM, I wake up and can’t get back to sleep. Unfortunately, that’s about 2 hours earlier than I’d like to be waking up, so I’m not getting enough sleep.

I suspect it’s stress related and hope that it will soon pass, but right now it’s annoying. Being tired adds to stress, and that’s the last thing I need this week.