Category: Humor

Scene from a California Life

Setting: early one July evening, the patio of my condo.
I’m puttering around in the garden. Upstairs neighbor is grilling on his balcony.

Him (looking down): How was your Fourth?
Me: Great, we went back east for the week, and you?
Him: Oh, the grandkids came in, it was nice.

(beat)

Me: Check out how my tomatoes are doing! This one’s taller than me!
Him: Are those tomatoes? I thought they were pot plants.
Me: Um…. no.
Him: Well, these are done. Have a great weekend!
Me: You too Bob!

—–

100% true story. Happened to me tonight.

Too Good Not To Share

Hat tip, Barry Ritholtz:

When a fireman sees a house on fire, he sounds an alarm, dons his turnout gear, bravely rescues the occupants and puts out the fire.

When an investment banker sees a house on fire, he quietly sells the burning house short, uses the proceeds to buy a larger house for himself and, when someone suggests that his taxes be raised to help the homeless, he rails against the dangers of socialism.

Only In San Francisco

San Francisco is a deeply flawed city in many ways (not to mention the whole voter initiative process, for that matter), but it also manages to come up with little gems like this. What started out as a joke is now going to be on the ballot this November:

San Francisco voters will be asked to decide whether to name a city sewage plant in honor of President Bush, after a satiric measure qualified for the November ballot Thursday.

[snip]

The measure, if passed, would rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

It almost makes me wish I still lived in SF.